No matter how you met, the first few weeks into dating are always very exciting. You’ve seen each other a couple of times now and perhaps ‘some stuff‘ has already happened. Both of you are slowely letting your guard down. Oh crap! What if he doesn’t like the real me?!
Whoever says that they are the perfect version of themselves are lying. No one is. You need to take it slow and slowly show all sides of yourself. Yes, emotionally, but whatever floats your boat. Anyway, the quirky characteristics are showing more and more. This can make anyone insecure. Don’t waver. If he’s really into you, keep your guard down and let him in. You can actually see that he does the same.
From time to time, I like to give you some insights into the male brains. Believe me, there’s a lot going on up here. For I am a man who overthinks a lot of things when dating. Lowering the shield leaves you more vulnerable. Thinking about thing you should or shouldn’t say or when is it the right time to kiss you, is not going to help. I’ve learned that the hard way. Instead, pay attention to body language and subtle cues.
Guys are insecure too, but we rather not verbalize that. We show it with our bodies. An opened body posture and attitude means that we are comfortable with your precence. We love to be around the girl we’re dating. Though it’s hard to admit, we don’t mind to be more vulnerable. It’s our way of showing trust, but breaking said trust, leaves us hurt. Not only emotionally, but the male pride and masculinity takes a big hit too.
It can be hard to recover from that, so it takes a bit longer for us to give you the feeling that we are showing everything there is to offer. This doesn’t mean that we don’t like you or trust you, but men are generaly more cautious. That’s also why all the small gestures and fleeting moments of invulnarability are so much more valuable.
That being said, you can always see when a guy likes you, even if you can’t tell for sure yet. My fellow gents are going to hate me for sharing this, but here goes anyway.
No sappy remark like: “I can listen to you all day long”, but genuine interest is a big tell. He is interested. If you’re just dating for a few weeks, you can’t really tell if you’re on his mind a lot. But, if he’s paying a lot of attention to your stories, you’re in the green zone. You can really be sure if he texts you to follow up on that story you told about the scary meeting or examn you we’re having. “How did it go?”, is more than enough to know that we want to keep dating you.
It’s important to have some things in common. Like loving the same lame movie when we we’re teenagers or we both like listening to Weird Al Yankovic. It’s silly really, but it can improve your relationship a lot. It means that you’re into the same kind of humor, which can be a huge tension reliever. Does he send you memes from time to time that actually make you laugh? Then know that he’s trying his hardest to entertain you, even when you’re not around.
Let’s say you are together. It can be lounging on the couch or catching up in a café, know that it’s perfectly normal when a silence drops. Don’t forcefully try to break the silence by verbalizing the first thing that comes to mind. Leaving a little pause usually means that your date wants to move on to a more serious conversation. He might want to lower his guard and tell you something he might be struggling with, or rather yet, take a second to tell you how much he appreciates you being here with him.
When talking, he shares more serious things. He doesn’t joke around all the time. A man’s biggest weapon while dating for just a few weeks is humor. While it’s really annoying when someone overdoes it, having a good sense of humor and teasing with some jokes can be rather pleasant. It challenges you to get creative. However, this behaviour should gradually fade a bit, and make place for meaningful and serious conversation. If he’s open to talk about the more serious things in life, he’s likely to trust you more and he feels more comfortable around you.
Lastly, he makes you feel comfortable. The best sign of having a steady first few weeks is being comfortable around each other. If you don’t feel that you have to hold back, you can be sure that he is feeling the same thing. He also doesn’t mind you quirky side, in fact; he loves it. The way you sneeze or eat can be a source of insecurity to you, but he thinks it’s cute. Don’t argue with that and just go with it, even if it still makes you feel silly.
The only thing you need to assure is that you keep an even and steady pace. Make sure he doesn’t go too fast. Or maybe you should temper your enthusiasm. Anyway. If you want to know what to do when your potential partner and you aren’t on an even scale, then check back with us next week. In the meantime you can read up on everything dating with our extensive dossier.